Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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