i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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