Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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