I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
