scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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