Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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