I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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