I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
