Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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