we should wear snuggies to the strip club
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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