i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
