were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
