You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
