It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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