but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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