The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
