I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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