Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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