this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
