Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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