Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm gonna have a badass scar
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
