I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Did I show you my penis last night?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
