OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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