You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
