just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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