she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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