I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You need Xanax blowdarts
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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