I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
