four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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