she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
