sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
