My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize