Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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