I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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