I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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