I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize