There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
