Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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