Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
