i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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