we have pet lesbian snakes
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
