i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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