I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
