i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
