We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
