I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
