where am i from again
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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