I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Your cock deserves a montage
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
