dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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