How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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