Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
