roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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