I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
