Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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