Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
