Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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