I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
