he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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