i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
