Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize