I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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