There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
