watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
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I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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